The 2 Sides Of Confident Communication


There are two different ways that we can communicate – internally (with ourselves) and externally (with others).

Internal Communication

Our internal communication is about how we talk to ourselves – the goals we set, the things we tell ourselves are true – our beliefs and affirmations.

If we communicate with ourselves internally, tell ourselves negative things and hold negative beliefs about who we are and our position in the world, we’re ultimately not giving ourselves the things we need. This is part self-esteem.

In this situation we avoid setting goals for ourselves and taking action, ultimately avoiding the things that will improve our self-belief and inner confidence.

External Communication

Our external communication is about how communicate outwardly – how we relate to others and build relationships, interact as part of a group, or how we lead, teach or deliver presentations.

If we don’t have good external communication skills it can be hard to express ourselves fully, share our ideas, integrate successfully as part of a group, and lead others.

Teaching, presenting and public speaking fit into this category too, and delivering our message confidently and concisely is something we get better at through practice.

Developing Both For Great Communication

Both types of communication are important and we need them both to communicate with confidence as one supports the other.

So which should you work on first?

Going to work our internal communication skills is a good first step.

When we set ourselves goals and challenge the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves we uncover our fears and the things that have been holding us back. This helps us become more comfortable and confident with who we are and builds a strong foundation for the external work that comes next.

Developing our external communication skills is all about understanding what it takes to deliver a message effectively. Then it’s about getting out into the world and honing those skills. This is a great opportunity for us as when we do this we get confidence back in return.

The Value Of Experience

Experience is an invaluable part of the learning process – teachers will often tell you that they learned more about teaching in their first year of the job than they did in the whole of their training! This is true for many things – the learning really takes place when you and do.

When you combine internal and external communication skills you’ll be able to communicate with people from a place of inner confidence you’ll be able to get your message across and become more effective.